Chapter
1 - There are Fingerprints on Our Lenses
My
husband Cory and I always joke that no one else on the planet lives the same way
we do! We are constantly in awe of and completely amused by the things our son
Sheldon does. He views the world very differently than any other person I’ve
ever met – literally. It’s not unusual to see him bent over, viewing the world
upside-down through his legs. When he watches a movie, he will actually take a
separate DVD and face the reflective side of it towards the television so that
he can watch the movie in the reflection on his DVD. Sheldon has even been
known to watch an entire television show with his back to the television. We
have a curio cabinet that sits exactly opposite of the television in our living
room, and he is content to watch the entire show in the reflection of the
glass.
Most
often though, Sheldon will turn his head to the side and close one eye while
examining an object very intently. He shakes his head just a little to see how
even that slight movement changes his view of the object. He tilts his head to
the other side, closes the other eye, and repeats the same process until he’s
satisfied that he has seen every little detail before him.
I
used to think these were just his funny little quirks that were associated with
Autism, but after watching him one day, I began to wonder if perhaps he wasn’t
on to something. What if he actually has the right idea? What if the best way
to view the world is through a sideways lens? I’m not suggesting that we
literally all walk around sideways, although there is certainly nothing wrong
with that, but figuratively speaking – perhaps Autism had given Sheldon a
unique vantage point from which to view the world that could prove useful to
all of us. And so this journey began…
Little
Fingerprints are a Blessing in Disguise
Taking
pictures is a passion of mine, and you will almost always see me with a camera
up to my eye. It really didn’t come as a surprise to me when Sheldon developed
a fascination with cameras. His mommy had been taking non-stop pictures of him
for years, so it only made sense that he would one day want to take some
pictures of his own. I never dreamed that his fascination would turn into an
obsession, but I loved having the opportunity to see the world through his
eyes, so it was an obsession I helped to feed.
Along
with this obsession came one huge drawback – every time I tried to take
pictures I discovered they were blurry. It seemed that I could never take a
picture without discovering little fingerprints on my lenses! With modern
technology, most of the effects from the fingerprints can be edited out, but it
was frustrating to say the least.
Fingerprints
on my camera lenses became an everyday occurrence, and it occurred to me that
perhaps those fingerprints were a blessing in disguise. I decided it would be
interesting to view the world as Sheldon sees it. He takes his cameras
everywhere, and sometimes at night, I pull some of the pictures off the memory
card and see the day through Sheldon’s eyes. Keep in mind, these were taken by
a five-year-old with dirty fingers that are forever touching lenses, but they
certainly opened my eyes as I viewed them. I have placed Sheldon’s pictures
throughout this book, and I hope that they will bless you as much as they have
blessed me.
I
never considered myself to be a prejudiced person. Throughout my years as a
music teacher, I have been blessed to teach students from a variety of
different cultures, ethnicities, socioeconomic backgrounds, and religions. I
taught in both rural and urban settings. I have always found the differences
between groups of people immensely fascinating, and I used music as a tool
through which my students and I could explore the amazing languages,
activities, and histories that made the melting pot of America truly unique.
Of
all the children I’ve worked with through the years, it was my own child that
taught me that in spite of all I thought I could see, I was still completely
blind.
You
see, in a child with a sensory processing disorder, the world around them can
be extremely confusing, because they can’t organize sensory information the way
the average person does. Their bodies actually hear, taste, touch, smell, see,
and move differently than we are generally used to. In Sheldon’s case, noises
and textures are often difficult for him to deal with, while lights are an
almost constant source of delight.
I’ve
dealt with chronic migraines for over twenty years. They’ve gotten
progressively worse particularly during the last ten years, and my symptoms are
extremely profound. While I’ve struggled for years with why it is that God
hasn’t healed me, I’ve also come to understand that these thorns in my side
have provided me with an incredibly unique insight into the world Sheldon must
be living in.
When
I have a migraine, which unfortunately is the greater part of every week of my
life right now, I can’t stand light. More specifically, I can’t stand sunshine.
It literally feels like the rays of the sun are boring a hole directly through
my skull when I do something as simple as walking into my living room.
Additionally,
during a migraine, my hearing becomes so acute that the ticking of a minute
hand on a watch is enough to drive me to the brink of insanity. Sometimes the
blinking of my husband’s eyes or the sound of his breathing seems so loud to me
that I have to send him in the other room. When the neighbors’ dogs bark, a
train goes by, and a tiny band of light sneaks out from behind my black curtain
all at the same time, I can barely stand to be in my own skin, it’s so painful.
No
wonder Sheldon’s view of the world is so very different. He literally feels
life differently than most people, and as I struggled with migraines, I began
to realize that in some small way, I did, too. What if these challenges were actually
blessings in disguise?
Most
children with Autism also lack an understanding of social norms and emotional
expressions. They aren’t aware that there are “appropriate” ways to handle
interactions with others, and it often takes much repetition to teach even a
basic skill such as using the word ‘please’. I’m almost certain that while
Sheldon has learned to say please through much practice, he has absolutely no
concept of why it is socially necessary to do so.
While
I feel extremely blessed that Sheldon does show many emotions, and he will even
initiate a kiss by tilting his head toward you, I also know through our
interactions that emotion is a difficult thing for him to express. Because he
is prone to “flapping” and repetitive movements, his body language doesn’t
always match what he is trying to express to us. As a result, he also has very
limited understanding of the body language we use when we speak to him. We must
be very direct and say exactly what we mean, because a stern look or even a
smile are often lost on him.
As
a result of these conditions, I’ve found my little man to be the most
refreshingly honest person you could ever hope to meet! Since he has no
preconceived notions about anything, he sees every person, every object, and
every experience exactly as it is. Emotions, beliefs, experiences, or
expectations don’t leave fingerprints on his lenses and cloud his view.
He
reminded me of a story I once heard about a grandfather who took his grandson
camping for the first time. The grandfather asked his grandson to gather nice,
straight limbs to use as kindling for the fire. The little boy came back
moments later, proudly bearing an armful of the most misshapen, knotted limbs
in the forest.
Rather
than get upset, the grandfather explained to the little boy that he needed to
find limbs that were straight – like a line. He showed the little boy the knots
in the limbs and told him to look for limbs without those blemishes.
The
little boy again returned with an armload of limbs, only this time they were
perfectly smooth. The grandfather sighed as he observed that while they lacked
the knots, they were mostly shaped like the letter “L”. Realizing that the
little boy didn’t know what “straight” meant, the grandfather walked to the
edge of the woods, picked up a perfectly straight limb and returned to the
little boy’s side. He took one limb from the little boy’s arms and laid it
directly next to the perfectly straight limb. A light of understanding filled
the little boy’s eyes, as he finally realized what he was actually looking for,
and he finally returned with a pile of perfectly straight limbs.
You
see, it took a crooked limb laying directly next to a straight limb for the
little boy to see that there was a difference. Similarly, there are times in
our lives that it takes a completely different perspective for us to see the
truth laid out before us. It occurred to me that if I could get even just a
glimpse of life through Sheldon’s eyes, it might just be as close as I may ever
come to viewing the world the way God does – with a clear, clean perspective
that sees everything exactly as it is. It was time to start viewing the world
sideways.
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